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Old 11-14-2013, 12:41 PM
Hmm Hmm is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I'm a little confused about when you were trying to let other people in.
The breakup was in July. Over the past few weeks I've had a skype sex buddy, slept with 2 girls, and made out and grinded with one more. I feel the worst pit I've ever felt in my life, I can't even explain it. Our circumstances are probably desperate and pathetic...I don't know. But sex without her was the most miserable experience in my life by far and I still have yet to tell her. It's like, by proxy, I have to believe what she believes or else I crash and burn all alone. She soothes me and fulfills me like I've never felt before.

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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Some people are inclined towards monogamy, so for them, being someone's one and only is a great feeling. For me, it's too much pressure.
That makes sense. One of the things she was lashing out about was how much pressure it was to be that for me. That was also why polyamory really attracted me as an idea. But I guess as it's been said before, if a relationship is floundering, adding another person into it won't fix it...I suppose. She's wonderful and fulfills all my needs...when she believes in herself. Sometimes she gets insecure and pulls back when I only want more and I want to be okay even when she does this, but it's frustrating sometimes. A lot, really.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
If you're deliberately putting yourselves down, is it really objective? Or just the subjectivity pendulum swinging too far the other way?
I wish I believed in this more. I do get too hard on myself. I need to accept myself and love myself more. I've been through a lot especially lately and it gets really hard.

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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I do believe that each relationship should be fulfilling in its own right, but I also enjoy the... convenience... of relying on some people more for fulfilling some needs, and others for others. For example, Auto is very empathic, always knows when something is wrong, and can listen objectively without trying to fix the problem. Gralson is a typical male problem-solver. Whenever I go to him for emotional support, he just tries to fix it, even when it's not his problem to fix. I used to go to my mom for what I now get from Auto, but my mom would just go into pity mode and then I'd end up reassuring her that my life wasn't completely awful, I was just having this one problem.
I'm glad you found a solution that works for you. I have really good friends who love me and support me. But talking to my ex, just small things from her make my whole body tingle and fill with euphoria. It's an addicting bliss and talking to other friends, gah, I wish it worked better. I want a net to rely on, not just one person. I far prefer being a positive person, I want that back.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
It seems that the mourning period would be far to fresh for you to be ready to let new people in before you've healed from the last one.
So yeah, you could say that.
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