here's another question i post to y'all about co-habitation...
how do you introduce the concept of poly to yer kids? how do you explain that you have 1 mommy and 1 daddy but that mommy loves another man who isnt daddy and daddy loves another woman who isnt mommy and you all live together as one happy family or whatever the situation may be...
I suspect there's threads on this somewhere (tagged children or family, I suspect). My two cents is to recommend a picture book by Barbara Joose, called I Love You the Purplest
. It's about a mother with two sons, who keep asking who is better; she instead compliments each on their successes. At the end of the day, they ask Mom who she loves best, and she explains that she loves one the "bluest" and one the "reddest". It's a great explanation of how polylove works, even if it's meant to deal with sibling rivalry.
The agreement was that a closed door was considered normal and healthy. An open door did not mean that someone could freely enter, however. But we would invite each other into our spaces. When I was in her space, I would consider it a special privilege and would act accordingly. She would do the same in my space.
Therefore, we would make dates and wait to be invited into each other's spaces. It kept things really special for us!
Strangely enough, I read somewhere (in The Ethical Slut
, perhaps?) about a sex party venue where they had a system with their doors and windows to tell others what they could do-- come in or don't, watch or don't, participate or don't... Pretty awesome, I say.
(I'd be curious how everyone here handles that... but I fear that I'm digressing. Mono, what say you?)