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Old 11-14-2013, 08:52 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,413

People raise babies without anyone to help, so it "can" be done... it just depends how determined you are and how much burden you figure you can cope with.

Also, what do you mean by co-parent? As in, split the kid's time? Or one parent has primary care and the other comes over to help out?

My bff's sperm donor for her two youngest is a useless twat. Ok, he's actually considered their father, but he really is a useless twat. When he was living with her, it was more like having an extra child to care for. Now she has full custody, he has visitation rights, but his bachelor pad really isn't child-friendly. They've worked out that it's easier for him to just visit at her place, which gives her a chance to get stuff done while someone else watches the kids, without her actually having to leave them in his care out of her sight.

Auto has a complicated looking arrangement, but it really isn't. Her husband is trans, but they wanted more kids than just her first daughter from a previous relationship. They have a gay friend who also wanted to start a family, but lacked the requisite uterus. So they turkey-basted (literally) two kids. The older lives with Auto and her husband, the younger lives with their biodad, but they each take all three kids for one day a week. That way, all the kids get to be together on weekends, and all the parents get one day free from children. Win-win-win. Well, the 15 year old may not think so anymore, because toddlers are totally, like, so annoying...

Gralson also attempted to co-parent his daughter, but her mother was ...unpleasant... so he didn't get much time with her, and zero say in what happened in her life. He did, however, get the privilege of monthly support payments. I don't recommend this arrangement. They now have a tenuous relationship. He's convinced that she hates him, I chalk it up to her being 20 and just wanting to explore life on her own.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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