Originally Posted by Natja
why would you need to talk about the nature of your past relationships unless you bring it up?
You need to either bring it up early on, or else EFFECTIVELY lie about it, precisely BECAUSE most people find polyamory so repugnant: failing to disclose and then getting found out would only mean a relationship-ending barrage of "WHAT ELSE ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME?!? I CAN NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN, AND I WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU IF I KNEW YOU WERE INTO THIS SHIT!!!! PACK UP YOUR CRAP AND GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!"
So the first choice is to be honest, which usually drives the person off but at least if they accept your reasons why polyamory no longer appeals to you then you don't have that particular Sword of Damocles hanging over you for the rest of your life. The second choice is to lie, but if you either lie about or fail to disclose something which impacts whether most people would want to be in a relationship with you in the first place, then you obviously need to be 100% sure you won't get caught, and yes I think it's reasonable for that to include purging old emails and anything else that proves you had a poly past.