Thread: Wide Awake
View Single Post
Old 11-12-2013, 07:57 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 14,418

Re (from Jayde):
"They were determined to make my moment about validating her and showing the world that three parents and polyamory isn't harmful to kids."
Up, oh! Ow ... deer-in-headlights moment, score one for the other team, that was a stinger. And why was it a stinger? cause Jayde was a little too incisively on target for even the nicest polyamorist's comfort ...

I feel like I've dumped a spider outside and said, "There you go, see I've saved you." Or like I've dumped my now-grown cat out on the street and said, "There you go, now you can fly and be free!"

TL/DR: Score = sad/stunning/paralyzing.

Re (from FullofLove1052):
"I am sorry, but some people should not be allowed to procreate."
Ahem; yes that's, something I've fancied as true for some three decades now (and counting) ...

So let me get this straight: Jayde (a "terrible" teen) is *asking* for counseling, and her (two? three?) folks are essentially telling her, "No you may not get counseling." Wow ... what a turnaround from the stereotypical parent/teen dynamic! [shaking head]

I guess it's true that kids don't usually get a choice about whether they'll now have a new brother or sister. But a new parent? Now pay attention poly people everywhere: *Yes* the child should *absolutely* have a say in that decision. Dad and Mom having an extra partner is one thing (and not necessarily a good thing either all by itself). Promoting that partner to "extra parent" (without the kids' okay!) is quite another thing!

Sheesh; even a monogamous parent divorcing and remarrying doth not automatically a new parent make. New partner? New spouse? Certainly, and the re-marrying adult does get to make that call (presuming the newcomer is a basically civil/reasonable person). But new parent? No, no no no. Yes in dictionary terms a new stepparent now exists, but that's not really a relationship dynamic type a child should be forced into. Let the stepparent earn the child's consent, assuming even that suffices in the child's opinion!

IDK, I guess you could argue that an infant can't convey consent or non-consent, and where do you draw the line and all that. I just wonder if we as a society don't need to alter our whole add-a-parent/replace-a-parent perspective, and that's not even a polyamory-versus-monogamy issue. At the very least a child who has some maturity about him/her should be given a huge amount of say in how he/she will represent his/her own relationship with the new partner. Alright, tell me I'm out of line here if I am. I'm a big boy, I've been out of line before, I can handle it. Perhaps my take on it is at least understandable though, yes?
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote