Scarlette spells it Issac, so I did too. Others are correcting her and spelling it Isaac, like in the Bible.
Which is it? Minor detail but I gotta know!
Back to the problem: Quads and triads are complicated beasts! Everyone needs to look inside themselves, feel and identify their feelings. I know from experience, one can get into that self sacrifice mode when one's primary is with someone new, and step back to give them space, feel some compersion, but also some resentment and fear. Maybe she'd rather sleep at work than have you two get a hotel, to save money? Hotels are expensive.
Calendar sharing is a must. There isn't much room for spontaneity when one has kids, and when one is poly with a primary, even more planning is necessary. It's just a fact of life.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 42, M (dating since Oct 2015)
and a few more casual relationships