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Old 11-12-2013, 10:02 AM
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Scarlette Scarlette is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 4

You're all so amazing! Thank you for giving me much advice and things to consider. There where some very good points made that I hadn't thought of before. I do try my best to remember that it isn't Hanna's fault that Michael is away and she is awesome for being so open to working things out. I am going to keep trying to research poly time management as well for ideas.

I talked to both Hanna and Issac a bit today about it. Hanna invited me over to chat. She said that she understands that having someone just down the hall able to pop up at any time can be frustrating. Not to mention if she had some "crazy bitch" (he words not mine ) around often while Issac and her where first together then she'd be getting upset too. She also said that the whole group is off balance with Michael gone and the only solution she can think of is not be "under foot" and disappear while I am with Issac. She plans to get a futon and sleep at work when I come over (we work together at a business she owns) so we can have some time alone. I told her it doesn't have to come to just kicking her out of her own house, I just want some time which is why I was just suggesting nights at a hotel. I am clear it is an issue that Issac and I need to figure out. I add if I had even a rough schedule of when my time was then I can plan stuff with Issac so it's less sitting around the house watching TV and more of us going and doing something together. She is sticking to getting set up to sleep at work. I figure Issac and I can figure out a schedule amongst us two and see how it goes from there. All four of us don't like the idea of her just hiding out at work whenever I'm around so I am hoping we can work something out.

With Issac, I briefly talked to him on his work break about asking Hanna for time and he wasn't receptive of the idea. We both do much better over text rather then talking about things in person, and I ended up sending this very long message shortly after we talked.
"I know you don't like the idea of talking to Hanna about plans with you and I. You would rather us figure it out and let you know because it is easier that way. Yet if the Hanna and I's relationship wasn't there I would be asking you for time and you would be making the time or not. I wouldn't be asking her if you can come out and play. Same reason why your band asks you if you're free on whatever night to play and not Hanna. Because it's your life and if you want to do it you figure out the way to make time to not tell them to talk to your wife. I know the drama sucks. I know because I am the one asking for us time right now. I'm the one taking the drama. Asking your wife if you can be with me (or asking my friend if my boyfriend is free). Did you ever have to talk to Michael about going out with me? I should be asking my boyfriend if my boyfriend is free and has time for me, right?
Please trust me when I tell you that I will do my best to not put you in a sticky situation. I will still do my best to make sure that Hanna is getting some time with you and not ask for too much time. Still, I don't know how you guys are and I won't always know if you and her are getting any time. I assumed you guys had all last Saturday together when apparently you didn't and she assumed I had all of Sunday with you even though you dropped me off after the class. Only you know. If you want everyone to be happy by the end of the weekend, then perhaps that means having your part in it too will help reach that goal. Your not doing anything wrong my love. We are just learning how to work this all out. If the biggest problem amongst the four of us is that we love each other so much that we want to spend every moment with each other, then that is not to bad of a problem to have. In the end, I know we will work something out and I love you so very much my sweet. ❤️"
Hopefully we can work something out! Thank you all again for the awesome advice!
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