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Old 11-12-2013, 03:55 AM
polywannacrackeryo polywannacrackeryo is offline
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 42

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I think you just need to be honest with her and gently state what you wrote here. I have taken your words and made a few adjustments:
"I am still quite sad over the breakup but I know I'm healing. I'm taking some time for myself to process, become renewed, and grow. I know your ideal situation would be to get back together with me in a mono relationship again.

I have been completely honest with you -- I have no idea what I want. But although I am glad we are friends again, I sense that you are getting your hopes up about us. This makes me uncomfortable and anxious.

When we're apart, the idea of working on our relationship sounds like a good idea. You are so good to me. However, deep down, it feels like a bad idea for where I am in my life right now. I don't feel the kind of chemistry between us for anything more than friendship. I don't know if this is how I will always feel, or if my emotions are just tied up in knots because of my recent breakup. But I'm actually beginning to enjoy my alone time, and I love the thought of me taking some time for myself, possibly dating around eventually, and not being tied down for awhile.

So, while I do enjoy your company immensely, I am afraid you are holding out hope for something that in actuality may never happen. I don't want to hurt your feelings but I'm finally getting my life on track, and rekindling what we once had would complicate my life too much right now, when I know that what I need is for things to be uncomplicated, and to enjoy my freedom.

So, please know that I care about you and will help you any way I can, but living together and possibly seeing you getting your hopes up for more would be beyond what I can offer. It doesn't feel right for me right now and is way more than I can handle. I hope you understand."
Thank you. That's very helpful! I know I need to be honest... But I wasn't quite sure how to do that gently. I know she will be upset, but this is stated in a way that may be easier for her to hear.
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