Wow, and yikes.
So you knew Hanna first. Then you meet her man and tell them you're poly, get them both turned on, start getting sexual with both, then your faraway husband Michael gets involved, you all hang out for a month, then he leaves.
Now, meanwhile Hanna has of her own volition backed off to give you and Issac space to develop your relationship. However, she is passively aggressively watching you both like a hawk. Now she is refusing compromise and being basically a bitch.
I am sure you care a lot about both of them, but isn't this a hazard of dating poly newbies? They really don't get how it all works. Maybe you should back off from seeing either of them, no dates with Issac, avoid Hanna at work as much as possible, for a week or two, and let them calm the f down, and do some talking of their own, and (hopefully) do some research into common poly issues like envy, jealousy, time/calendar sharing. Becoming poly can point up issues in a couples' relationship they been able to avoid looking at until a new person comes into the mix.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 41, M
Old Friend, gender fluid
Nick, 35, M (occasional lover)
Hippie, 25 (?)
Dark Wing, 45 (?)