@WH Right now I'm the live-in partner and energy I'm talking about is the energy that is brought home, from outside the initial relationship. I feel like the object of someone else's turn on. I'm very social but very selective of what I bring "home" so the idea of this random person in my private life hasn't been yummy. I have also been the live away love "secondary" and I did feel like a marital aid. Some from the sexual perspective but more that because I was there they were able to limp along in what appeared to be an intolerable state for longer than they might have otherwise.
@London, thank you for totally different view of the the experience. I didn't realize it, but I guess i did kind of feel like he was making due with me at some level. I have been the new person, the subject of fiery NRE and I know how it goes, and I guess I assume they have that same experience (no way could ask, I couldn't handle the answer). I understand that yay everything is great feeling -- he gets like that about fun things to build, machinery, ideas, cute girls, that's him! He does get (even more) affectionate when he is excited about something, I guess I attributed it to "left overs" from his other relationship rather than general excitement about the fullness of life. Interesting.
Me: mono, 52, serving S in a PE relationship for six years, living together since April 2012
S: has been poly since he can remember, 37
A: His new girl, under consideration