Originally Posted by YouAreHere
Serious question here...
I feel pretty naive reading this... I really have not been in "the dating pool" ever - I had one BF in high school, to my BF in college becoming my husband (and now ex), and now my partner (who is someone I knew back in high school).
Is it really that common for people you're dating to be that inquisitive about your dating history? I can understand wanting to make sure there aren't any psycho exes coming your way with a hatchet, or any STIs to worry about, but why would I even care about the people my prospective date used to have in his/her life?
On the contrary, relationships help build the people we are, and some of them make for great stories.
(Is it maybe an age thing? I'm 43 and expect people to have had some life experience by now... good and bad.)
My background is very similar to yours. Married young, divorced a couple years ago, roughly the same age. If I'd dated him once or twice, even for a month or so, I can see it not being quite as big a deal. But two years of my life...for me not to mention J and his place in my life, to simply gloss over what I've been doing for those 2 years, to someone close enough to possibly become a spouse would be tantamount to lying at this stage.
ETA: What I'm trying to say is, at this stage, it wouldn't be a matter of someone inquiring about my dating history, it would be a matter of me deliberately hiding things.