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Old 11-11-2013, 01:31 PM
Polywife12 Polywife12 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bookbug View Post
It sucks that he didn't know, but it wasn't a grand plan to fuck up your life. You need to quit laying blame on him. The sooner you do that the more mentally healthy you will be.
I feel like sometimes it was his grand plan to fuck my life up, but then again you'd have to know B LOL. Although, I'm sure it really wasn't. It just seems awfully inconsiderate of him to do this an not have to see what I'm going through as a result. The reason I say that is because he was going through this custody battle and other issues when we got reconnected and he knew that I was still involved with the swing world. Maybe he thought it could work and then realized it wouldn't. Although, I do not agree with him. He got full custody of his children but there are still some other legal issues possibly pending due to a bad divorce which I do not think is final. I think he's probably not in a place to give me what he'd hoped to give me and realizes he needs to have a real life with someone who isn't involved with swinging.....but then again IDK? He's told me very little that would make sense about why he's ended our relationship and to me it seems more like paranoia. I can't prevent his feelings but for him to start things up again and walk away without any real issue is hard for me to handle. I just try to keep trusting what he's said that he needs to be there for his kids and somehow I can cause a problem for him?????? This is why I want to blame him. But he's also said what you said below:


Quote:
Originally Posted by bookbug View Post
My suggestion in regard to B is to forgive him for not being able to be all things to all people (and you do understand why his kids have to come first right?), and try to be the best friend you can be to him. He needs a *friend* right now; not someone making more demands on his limited resources. The divorce proceedings won't last forever, and the children will mature. The external circumstances surrounding B are temporary.
So if I'm a real friend I wouldn't be trying to negotiate and just understand where he's coming from. The problem is I don't understand completely and I have lost a lot because of my love for him. I feel that I don't want to place any burden's on him but I do not feel he's completely justified himself and I don't know if he can since it's regarding leagal issues. There is no promise of any future with him. He says after 6 years go by his life is his own again. So I said see ya in six years LOL....but that was it. He says he wants to be friends and he'll always love me but he hasn't picked up the phone or tried to reach out in any way. This hurts the most. When I confront him about not reaching out he says he just doesn't want me to get crazy I don't know if I should reach out to him and tell him what's going on with me? I want to be supportive but I feel like things are probably ok for him and he's just over reacting
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