You need to negotiate some boundaries with her. Even though she is in NRE (new relationship energy time) with this guy, she doesn't get to neglect your needs to such an extent. Sounds like she is hardly ever home, and when she is, she spends all her time with you talking about him. Why do you let her treat you this way? What kind of a marriage is this?
Whether she stay with or breaks up with this guy, she's got another relationship she is in. Most poly people are aware that it's important to nurture all their relationships, not just focus on one and leaving the other one, especially their "primary" (spouse, person they share a house and finances with) sitting along more often that not. I am not sure why you married her in the first place, if she's always so focused on other men.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
A standing prick hath no conscience. --Bill Shakespeare
me: Mags, female, pansexual, 60, poly-dating, and loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 38