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Old 03-22-2010, 11:09 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by maca View Post
Only thing I will say to those that are thinking of "moving in" to a family setting where there are kids is that there will be attachments made to/by those kids. This is not only a commitment to the adults but also one to the kids.

This is always at the forefront for all three of us. Bonds are already formed between her son and I. I am confident that that bond would be repected and nurtured regardless of what happens amongst the adults in his life. This is a concern still however.

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post

The solution we've found - along with thousands of experienced others - is to only consider it if you can guarantee there is sufficient "personal" space that can be afforded everyone. This means separate bedrooms, living space, baths and even minimal kitchen capabilities.
You will find these models working in many intentional communities where polyamory may or may not play a part. The concerns are the same, only polyamory adds additional complications- or emphasis.

Personal space for each of us as individuals as well as couples is very important. The idea is that a house will have enough separate room for all of us and I will actually live in a suite as a tenant. All of us enjoy our quiet space and at least I could babysit their son so they can have private time and still be close enough that they are completely at ease.

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post

But also-having my own suite would allow for me to invite GG and Maca to come to my space and sleep on either side of me at times, but not "invade" either of their "personal spaces".... something I never get that would mean the world to me.

Ok-that became a big long daydream....
Wow..I never thought of this..Cool concept! But who washes the sheets

Originally Posted by saudade View Post

The best advice I can give (been living with my two primary partners for... almost a year now, whoa!) is to clear up all the business stuff (money, obviously, and chores and so on) to the greatest extent possible beforehand, and then talk regularly to update those decisions as needed. O

The dynamic we have has already started showing trends. Polynerdist excels in finances, Redpepper is a kick ass family organizer and event scheduler and I am most satisfied with a household project to do. We don't seem to overlap except in the area of wanting a clean environment so our contributions are complementary as opposed to repetitive...I hadn't thought about this before..nice

Originally Posted by Catichka View Post
My husband and my partner and i have been living together for 3 years and have been together for around 7ish.


Originally Posted by Macbeth View Post

Add in the concept that my GF and I have been talking about the concept of her having a baby (with me), and the playing house thing has been useful and enlightening.
Now this would be a step and a half! I'm fixed so Redpepper is safe from me in that area LOL!

Originally Posted by Honestheart View Post
so may i taker a moment to say that it is beautiful to read that it can work out. integration that is.
i seriously pray for those of you here who have blended families that you would continue to bond, to face the challenges of this type of family can have with open hearts and a strong spirit , and i wish you all the best in you happy lives together... i mean, just socially speaking there are so many challenges!
We're not there yet but it does seem likely. We'll keep you updated for sure.
Sorry for the turn of events in your relationship. ..will you try again?

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post

The other thought is that if it doesn't feel right once you have tried it, what is to stop you going back to how it is today, if that works out better?

I guess this depends on why it didn't work. For the most part the "why" in our case probably wouldn't have anything to do with where I am living....good point my friend.

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Monogamy might just be in my genes

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