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Old 11-11-2013, 08:29 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
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Re (from ColorsWolf):
Quote:
"If you bring any of your colonial attitudes with intent to practice these ideals of yours towards my 'family,' it won't be pretty for *any* of you."
Ummm, it's not like we have a secret plan to sneak up on your place of abode and ... practice our ideals "toward" your family. (Not sure what "toward" means in this context?)

Won't be pretty for *any* us? Surely you don't mean that if *some* of us come and violate your family with our sick colonial attitudes, you'll come after *all* of us? At least confine your Rambo-like vendetta to those who actually "harm" you (and/or your family).

And sneaking around the thread topic briefly: Your whole quote that I quoted up there? has, to my mind, a strongly physical-threat-type air to it. Polyamory.com has pretty forgiving guidelines, but I'm uncertain about whether the mods would take kindly to the use of physical threats on these boards. I guess if you want to argue, "Hey, if you kill my family, why, then, I'll turn around and kill yours," you could and while it would be a conceptually fair statement, it would still constitute a member using physical intimidation (and implying that some other member started it).

In my experience, one of the (at least unofficial) objectives of just about any internet forum is that *all* of the members will refrain from threats of physical violence. So if anyone's physically threatening you (or your family), then they're way out of line and in my opinion should be severely censured by the mods. If you retaliate with similarly threatening language, then you're only making the situation worse by breaking down the tacit physically peaceful agreements that make civil discussions possible. You might get talked to by the mods and asked not to verbally retaliate to physical threats, even if you aren't censured.

But if you're threatening physical violence as punishment for some sort of hypothetical actions on our part that wouldn't even physically touch you or your family, that kind of makes you the primary aggressor. Such a state of affairs might not be covered by Polyamory.com's guidelines, but I still think there's a chance the mods would take profound issue with your verbal behavior, send you a reprimand, and possibly delete your threat, delete the whole post it's in, lock the thread, ban you, and/or otherwise try to undo the damage you've done to the civility of the forum by making it about real bloodletting.

I presume your defense in this case is that you didn't *technically* threaten anyone -- let alone physically. But I'm telling you, your tone and wording suggest otherwise and I for one would caution you about how that affects the whole site. If you come in peace, mind your writing style so that people can plainly tell you're serious about keeping the peace. Otherwise we're all getting pulled into a cheap barroom brawl.

It's all so sad and unnecessary. We're only connected via satellite, none of us knows (beyond which city) where anyone else lives, there's simply no way any of us can physically approach each other without agreeing with each other to do so and giving each other road directions. Unless some really good hacker or private eye is at work on tracking down someone's physical address for some Polyamory.com member (and I'm sorry but I seeeriously doubt that's happening -- to *any* of us here).

In short: Your warning here really tested the definition of inappropriate. With regret for any offense or contempt I may inspire, I suggest you express more peaceful pursuasion and less aggressive intimidation in the future. I believe it will get you better results.
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