Happy Monday! The day is halfway over. Time is flying by.
I read something over the weekend, and when I tell you it yanked it my heart strings and made me mad simultaneously, you just do not know. I found myself wondering how my child would feel when I was reading remarks made by the teenager of poly parents. The little she described made me want to reach out, hug her, and bitch slap her parents. I am re-evaluating my beliefs surrounding poly and children. Maybe it is not as innocent and simple as them accepting what is presented. It could be like someone else said, they probably think it is normal, but what happens when pearl clutching people hear about it and give them the impression that it is not as normal? If they are like this girl, they start questioning it.
My child walked up to me and told me out of her own mouth that she was never supposed to have more than two parents. When I mentioned her and suggested that she spend time with her, the mood shifted. She had an epic meltdown one day, and she started speaking in another language. When she gets that upset and passionate about something, there is no reasoning with her. Imagine if I had kept driving the idea of accepting Si into some predetermined role that I wanted her to fit in. Imagine if she encountered one of those pearl clutching folks who made her feel uncomfortable and like poly was wrong. It was not going to end pretty. We dodged a bullet.
This girl is probably a good 10-12 years older than my baby, and the shit she described made me want to cry. She has been around poly longer than my baby was, so she has had time to see the ins and the outs. My baby has time to forget the experience. Are her parents that daft? Do they not realise that poly is not embraced with arms with open? Then again, she said they encountered their own set of problems. Surely they realised that flaunting--not hiding--their relationship style at a religious institution (the girl's school) would not be received and welcomed. Some parents thrive off gossip, and teenagers can be mean girls and little bitches.
My daughter goes to an Anglican school, and you know what? There is no way in hell Si would have ever stepped foot on the grounds of her school or been introduced as my girlfriend. That would have been one place that we would have been closeted. I am not going to do anything to make her life any harder.
I went through some hell when I came out. Until you have been referred to as your husband's first wife, like you were divorced or deceased, been referred to as his bubs' mother/surrogate, told that your girlfriend was not allowed in any of the family homes--including holiday homes, or had the unfortunate pleasure of someone saying, "I had no idea Matt was married," and you have been married for almost 12 years...you would never understand WTF that I have been through. That was only from one side of the family. I think walking through a storm of golf ball sized hail and getting pelted would have been more enjoyable.
Why would put my baby through any of that or anything similar? All that proves is, poly has a longgggg way to go before it is accepted. This means I need to shield my babies from the wrath that I incurred. I am not going to do anything to put them in the line of fire. If I was dating, what I read further proves why being closeted would be the only option. I would not even tell my children I was poly. Partners would never meet my children or be around them anyway. It is fine if people want to talk shit about adults, but if my duckies were put in positions to fight my wars and defend my choice of relationship structure, that is a problem. It has made me want to have a conversation with my daughter. I guess we can do that today during our mummy-n-princess block.
Other than the above thoughts, my weekend was really good. I was with my family the entire weekend.
Saturday: Two family walks; one in remembrance of babies who died from SIDS and the other for brain cancer research. We attended the final day of spring racing carnival, and our winning streak was on a high. We went to a Bohol fundraiser family day. We had dinner as a family. DH and I attended a cocktail party for the parents of premature babies. Very near and dear to our hearts because our son was premature. It was a feel good day.
Sunday: We attended two church services. DH and I took part in a 10k. Nanny J and our little duckies were at the finish line cheering us on. We enjoyed the weather at Albert Lake and took part in a family 5k. I cooked Sunday dinner. DH and I went to a show last night at a lounge in Fitzroy. The proceeds went to a positive cause.
It was a feel good weekend, and we were able to get our little duckies involved.
I am about to find something to eat. I am craving some cajun food. Gumbo would be great. A fried catfish po-boy with tartar sauce and honey mustard would be even better. I hope everyone is enjoying their morning, afternoon, or evening.