My POV, which is a bit reversed - whether or not counseling would have worked for me and my ex-husband, his refusal to go to counseling told me that he wasn't serious about working on our marriage. That refusal sent a very loud and clear message to me - that he was right, I was wrong, and I was the one who needed to do all the work.
Whether or not that was what was actually going on in his head (he wouldn't tell me), that's what I got.
So, whether or not the actual counseling would have done anything for us, just his attendance would have gone miles.
Mono. Divorced, two kids, two cats, one house with many projects.
My partner of ~3 years. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).
My navel-gazing blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
My slightly more polished blog (external): From Baltic to Boardwalk