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Old 11-09-2013, 11:43 PM
LondonGuy LondonGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Humberside, no longer in London but I still visit regularly
Posts: 88

Originally Posted by london View Post
What you call negatively, I call being realistic.

The paragraph you quoted contains "one idea".
If you say so...

I don't believe that healthy relationships are hard work nor should they require hardship but I do acknowledge the urge to want to "work hard" and experience hardship to make a nearly healthy relationship, healthy. I just advise that you think carefully about whether the.end result will be worth it, as I've said a few times.

I'm not a believer in settling, or love overcoming all. I don't think its healthy to sacrifice your needs, desires and values in order to make yourself compatible with someone. And those beliefs are what influences my opinions.
That's all reasonable. But her problems here are based around insecurities. She'll need to figure out ways of addressing those regardless of whether she's identifying as mono/poly and regardless of what her boyfriend (or for that matter any other hypothetical boyfriend that you feel she would be better suited to) gets up to.

If undealt with, insecurities can rip you to shreds however you identify or whoever you date, trust me on this. I've only just started identifying as poly but my ex was a very insecure person... those insecurities wouldn't have been different if she was with someone else, she had those insecurities with her ex before me as well as when she was single.
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