I just read this thread all the way through. There's a lot of parallels between this and what we are currently going through. Plus we're also kinky and also new to polyamory!!
Firstly I suggest you ignore Londons first post, it was negative and seemed to focus on your insecurities. You don't need negativity right now. Nor should you be made to feel bad for any insecurities you have, they're natural!! They're irrational, but that doesn't mean you're wrong for having them.
Secondly I suggest you read both of the threads that myself and my girlfriend posted as there is some great advice from other posters which was given to us. There's a lot of bitchiness and negativity aimed at my girlfriend from some members of the community (which pissed me off!!) in amongst it so be warned... but on the whole there's some great advice.