Originally Posted by Honestheart
so hears the question...when a hurt liek this happens...is it time to close the doors on poly? afteral, if this happened because of a lack of trust and openess whic is the core part of paoly lifestyle... do you end it and go back to monogamy. maybe, if you did this you're just not "cut out" for a poly lifestyle?
does any of this make sense?
I'm not sure that anyone is "cut out" for poly because of the culture we were raised in. Hell - I'm not anyone is cut out for relationships PERIOD LOL
The majority of these type issues happen because of a couple things.
1> We really aren't taught much about real communication skills (until we're forced to learn them).
2> Many , many people aren't aware of the importance of living in a genuine manner. This is especially true in the dating/mating game. We're taught to construct this 'desirable' image and sometimes lose our real self in the process. When you're practiced at hiding things or repainting them in some favorable manner, it takes some work to break that habit.
I don't know that closing doors - or minds - is productive unless we're absolutely clear that what's on the other side of that door presents a real and present danger or other negative component.
More of the mis-steps and complications of these things is just due to lack of skill, understanding and practice. The question then becomes - are you really interested enough in the benefits to be up for the task of mastering it. They say nothing is free in this life.
Only you guys can figure this out................