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Old 11-09-2013, 06:33 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

Without the communication training we got in therapy-we would be divorced. The papers were already filled out and ready to go. This came from a counselor who is not "alternative relationship friendly" per se. But-he is GREAT at training on communication and we stuck to that topic with him.
We knew we needed to resolve our communication problems before we could even tackle our poly issues.
He is also trained to deal with PTSD and other trauma issues. So he worked with Maca on trauma from his childhood. Which was a huge help in allowing him to heal so he COULD improve communication-because there were trust issues about women in general that were holding him back from being able to even have a productive conversation regarding a difficult topic.

YES! My personal counselor, who was helping me through some depression and anxiety issues and is basically "available when I need her" (which hasn't happened since last winter) is VERY great about poly.
In fact my sister see's her as well in dealing with some of her issues in her poly dynamic (I wasn't seeing her for poly issues-but I was certainly very open about my poly dynamic and she was supportive and easy going about it.

I would say-it ABSOLUTELY necessitates that both parties be diligently devoted to finding solutions and honest about the ACTUAL problem. Not "what I am angry about". Because often what we are pissed over is just a symptom of the REAL problem.
Like cheating. It's almost always a symptom. Could be a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder (in which case I advise LEAVING). But it could be a symptom of a LOT of things. We have to do the personal, honest, deep, introspective inventory of OURSELF to find out what the REAL problems are.

Also-the next thing that was biggest in helping us was me taking Interpersonal communication at the college. OMG what an eye opener! Just KNOWING what goes wrong all of the time was an eye opener. Having to do a personal inventory on MY communication and defense mechanisms (got an A+) left me in a puddle of tears, realizing **and accepting** how much of our issues were mine.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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