No that is not a dadt relationship. You just respect the privacy of your partners.
I have a similar situation. Butch knows where I am and vice versa but as for details that is kept private.
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.