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Old 03-22-2010, 03:51 AM
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Honestheart Honestheart is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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MonoVCPHG,
you have what i longed for in my recently ended poly relationship.
a blended family, integration.
I lived with my ex and his SO for about 6 mths before moving out. originally i was a friend who had moved in to get over her divorce and find a place of her own. i eventually fell in love with the male in the home after finding out the couple were poly.
we continued the relationship after i moved out. her telling me she wanted integration eventually with her other SO, him saying the same about his other SO. a happy poly family was the goal.
altho i knew it was YEARS away i always was told, and we regularly discussed, that we all had the goal of integration as a thing to hold onto... i could handle the fact they were "in the closet" about being poly and basically hiding my relationship, i could handle no over nights with my boyfriend, and i could handle the extremely slow pace of the relationship because it was based on her feelings and what she was ready to handle because... i knew eventually if this relationship went long term we'd have the option of something more. i'm not saying i banked on it, it was just an option, a hope that i could hold onto and it made all the other things meaningless because eventually if this lasted that long, we' d have a life. it just would take longer then most other relationships LOL it was an option, and that option is what any relationship offers...the chance for a family.
options are always taken for granted.
if i had know she would change her mind i never would have gotten involved.
2 yrs into the relationship, i find out she no longer wants an integrated blended family...
i was devastated. that, along with many other problems throughout the relationship caused me to leave him.
i need the option...
let me make it clear, she was not the reason i left him..it was just the straw that broke the camels back
so may i taker a moment to say that it is beautiful to read that it can work out. integration that is.
i seriously pray for those of you here who have blended families that you would continue to bond, to face the challenges of this type of family can have with open hearts and a strong spirit , and i wish you all the best in you happy lives together... i mean, just socially speaking there are so many challenges!
i wish i could have had the same... I'm happy for those of you who have found love and family in poly....
kudos to you for making it work!

Last edited by NeonKaos; 03-27-2010 at 02:19 PM.
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