Originally Posted by EugenePoet
Heh, heh. I think there's a definite sexual dimorphism on this issue. What I hear is that mono men message poly women pretty frequently, and in a fairly Neanderthal manner. The reverse is not true.
My poly relationship has tight boundaries, as I've mentioned elsewhere -- one date evening a week. So, with the knowledge and encouragement of my lady love, I have been looking for other friendships to fill the voids.
On straight sites (PlentyOfFish and Yahoo) when not self-identifying as poly I could draw responses easily. But that felt dishonest so I very quickly backed off the contacts, killed my profiles, and came to OkCupid and posted as poly.
Now it's quite hard to get a response.
Mono women in the age bracket I'm searching (45 - 60) are definitely NOT interested in somebody who needs multiple relationships. They do NOT respond to messages from me, despite the fact that I wax poetic about honesty and feelings, post pictures of my seriously cute dog, and am demonstrably not out-of-shape and flabby (although my face leaves something to be desired beauty-wise).
So yes, I mostly look only for women who self-identify as poly. In my geographical area, though, there are only a small handful who are active on OKC or on PolyMatchmaker.
It would be discouraging if I wasn't so happy with my life!
Back when I was in an open relationship with my then gf, when I got hit on by girls I didn't fancy, I found the single fastest way to turn them off was just to honestly say "I'm in an open relationship". Response was generally: "Fuck that!" :shrug: