Originally Posted by Luv2HaveMore
Wow, such a warm reception for a newbie looking for advice, and answers for questions..... No one is perfect, and everyone here has made mistakes in their past. If this is what this message board is all about(tearing down people who are looking for answeres) then you all should be ashamed of yourselves, and are a very poor representative of a beautiful culture, that is looking for legitimacy daily..... If you don't have anything informative to add, or something constructive to help out someone looking for answers, then refrain from the conversation, and keep your narrow-minded views to yourself.
Firstly, you're not the forum police so keep the posting instructions to yourself. Secondly, just because it isn't framed in the hand-holding manner you want doesn't mean it's not good advice. Thirdly, if you're concerned about projecting legitimacy, then leaning heavily on the "ethical" part of ethical non-monogamy is important. Cheating is not, by any
definition I'm familiar with, ethical.
If someone were to join a aircraft enthusiast forum and talk about how they were applying for a job with Qantas as a senior pilot even though they didn't have a pilot's licence and it was all going to work out because they'd watched Snakes on a Plane and could ride a scooter, then it wouldn't be unreasonable for the other members to advise them to adjust their expectations. It's the same here. The OP has an expectation that she'll be welcomed into a triad relationship by someone who has every reason to hate the very air she breathes. It's not unreasonable for members here to point out the flaws in her thinking. Giving her the "there, there, it'll all work out" treatment you seem to want to see would be doing her a disservice.