We did not even realise we were hiding it from our parents until one day my father figured it out. the next day he excommunicated me. What followed was a stream of the most abusive and most hurtful things i have ever read in my life, aimed directly at me from my own father.
A few months later, my cousin flipped out on ice and stabbed her boyfriend. At her trial, dad recalled to me how my auntie, her mother, stood there and supported her, and realised there was simply nothing she could do for her anymore. It didnt stop her loving her, but there are times that parents just need to let their children make their own mistakes and come back to the family when they are ready.
THIS he compared directly back to me and poly. He will always love me, but it seems he just cant help me anymore. Cause no matter how you look at it, in his eyes, poly is wrong, its a distortion of truth and grace, and he infact believes that my husband and my partner cannot possibly respect me or love me and treat me this way. He also no longer recognises my marriage.
I dont expect this situation to calm down any time soon. i know its going to take a lot of time. but through this, i have lost a family that i was once exceptionally close to.
I feel your pain. I have no advise, i dont think anything can fix it when it gets to this stage. If he dosent want to talk about it,then dont talk about it. let him see you happy, to give him some data that disproves his own fears of your situation.