Thank you EP.
I think this is the next major step in GG's life-learning how to be strong and fight back WHEN NEEDED. Just as I have to learn to let go when needed.
We had a long talk (finally) and agreed to some basic details. I explained that I simply needed to know that he wasn't going to allow them to be that way to me, that if they start up he will look at them and say (something to the effect of) "I love you, but you obviously aren't in a place appropriate for us to hang out at the moment. I don't allow myself to be where people are talking shit about you, and I don't allow myself to hang out where people are talking shit about my other loved ones, which LR is. So I'm going home-call me when you are in a place that you can be around me in a way that is safe and appropriate for both of us." then leave.
He agreed that this was a perfectly reasonable need in his eyes and that he would uphold that. We also agreed that right now is NOT the time to try to build relationships-I need to deal with my surgery and healing first. So he won't be going to game nights until I'm back on my feet again. I've never asked him to not go-I think that was one reason this request was ok for him to accept, because I don't take advantage of that ever.
Anyway-I'm doing better. I also told him how VERY VERY important it is to me that he let me know if he needs time to think something through instead of just shutting me out. He agreed that he would (going forward) let me know that he is just taking some time to think so that he doesn't leave me wondering and take away that connection we have that means so much to me.
THAT meant the most to me. I cling to that connection when my life is in turmoil. Having it taken away for two weeks at this time in my life-was hell.