Originally Posted by kdt26417
She's probably used to him "not talking" (being an introvert) but he has to start learning the skills of calm, considerate, effective communication. It can only be done through practice (including making many mistakes during the learning process).
She needed only him when she first married him, but now she needs him and you. This is the change that he was never ready for. I'm guessing he knows how to share sexually but not emotionally. Still think a poly-friendly counselor might be something to look into.
It's very hard for me to get used to the idea that I'm more than a fling or anything other than a diversion for a dissatisfied housewife. Initially, all I wanted was to have sex with someone I liked and I liked her from the get go. For one, she looks a lot like my first wife. They have the same name even. That made me fairly comfortable right away. Then we discovered that we have a lot to talk about. We've sent more than 10,000 messages in the past two months and shared hours of cuddling and talking. Somewhere along in there we admitted that we love each other. We say goodbye and then can't part. At first the sex was just good but now it is fantastically ecstatic every time. We're full with each other. She's always on my mind and I'm getting the idea that it's the same for her. Still, I want her to keep her family together. She is lucky to have him. She was a wild and chaotic young woman when they met and she would have self destructed without him.