wow guys, thanks!!!! no i honestly do not think anybody is being judgmental. I really appreciate the replies! I was on the fence, but thought hey...if i'm gonna do this take a stance then see what other think!
I'm not hung up on the terminology per se but...its kinda important for me to understand and part of understanding is a label... you know what i mean?
and yes, now i agree that when it hurts the other person... and it is hidden...its cheating/an affair
so hears the question...when a hurt liek this happens...is it time to close the doors on poly? after all, if this happened because of a lack of trust and openness whic is the core part of poly lifestyle... do you end it and go back to monogamy. maybe, if you did this you're just not "cut out" for a poly lifestyle?
does any of this make sense?
and as fer support.. ANYTHING! online support groups perhaps? theres not really a poly community here, small town. backwards thinking. for example, when i mentioned to a therapist about "open" relationships to try and explain the difference between poly and "open" well... they didn't know what an pol relationship meant and they automatically thought polyamory was polygamy....
and i agree now.... fucking around, even if there's emotional attachments involved (ok even if there love involved) and its with a previous partner, and the break up was recent well... it is cheating/affair...
Last edited by NeonKaos; 03-27-2010 at 02:20 PM.