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Old 11-08-2013, 09:20 AM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Originally Posted by strudel View Post
Is don't-ask-don't-tell common in poly relationships??
Define your terms.

To me, DADT is where one partner is able to pretend that they are in a traditionally monogamous relationship even though they have given permission for their partner to see someone(s) else.

A situation where one partner knows about the other partner(s) but doesn't expect to be given a blow-by-blow recap of what goes on between them isn't DADT, it's just people with healthy personal boundaries.

Someone who knows about the other partner(s) and insists on knowing exactly who did what to whom, when, and for how long isn't the opposite of DADT, it's a whole different mess of possessiveness and intrusion.

#1, DADT, requires secrecy.

#2 rejects secrecy and allows privacy.

#3 rejects privacy and is an unhealthy couple-privileged mess in which nobody is happy to mind their own business.

Which do you mean when you say "DADT"?

Last edited by Emm; 11-08-2013 at 09:27 AM. Reason: Too many "just"s.
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