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Old 11-08-2013, 08:34 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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Originally Posted by london View Post
You'll find that people who practice that form of poly often need that level of intrusion into their partner's other relationships to compensate for the lack of control and additional trust your form of poly requires.
Originally Posted by london View Post
No, I said people who make rules about how and where their partner's interact with other people have control issues.
Nope, you specifically said it about "people who practice that form of poly." The OP referred to "family type" poly, and you did not specify the sub-group of them who make rules governing their partners' behaviour. Indeed, you routinely make that generalization about the entire group of family-oriented polyfolk. You have spoken publicly with enough people from that group to dispel the "family poly preference = control issues" myth that you seem to harbor, and yet you apparently refuse to acknowledge it as a valid form of polyamory.

Not like there aren't hub-style poly folk who make just as many control-based rules. Some people impose limits on how close their partners are allowed to become with other partners, or how often they're allowed to see them. I find that happens much less frequently with family-type poly, because everyone is comfortable hanging out together and sharing time.

Control issues are about individual personalities. There is no correlation between style of polyamory, or for that matter poly vs mono, and control issues. People from all walks of life are just as likely to have control issues, be insecure, and put limitations on the behaviours of other people in their life. It has absolutely nothing to do with the pleasure some derive from being friends with their partners' partners.

I have never once seen you acknowledge that family-type polyamory is just as valid as hub-type polyamory, or even that there exist family-type polyamorists who are not insecure control freaks. I implore you to prove me wrong. Just once, admit that forms of poly other than your own are equally valid. I dare you.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 11-08-2013 at 08:44 AM.
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