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Old 03-21-2010, 03:08 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
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Quote:
Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
I've been so happy lately, being able to be open with more people. It really is a very liberating feeling, such a relief.
That's SO awesome Booklady ! It does have a liberating feeling. MAybe someday everyone will have that option.

Quote:
Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
It didn't go well with one person though, my Dad. He assures me that he loves me and that he and I will 'always be ok' but we're not 'ok' at all.
Among the many things that he said when he found out was that he was disappointed and thought what my husband and I were doing was shameful. We shouldn't tell anyone else. What we are doing can't possibly last, it can't work long term. That my Step-Mom can be there for me to talk about it, but he and I don't need to bring it up again.
Well- remember - this is a different generation, a different culture.
And also remember that you can't "teach" anyone anything - you can only provide an "opportunity" for learning.
To use an old cliche, - the proof is in the pudding. And this is something he may relate better to. Given time and the fact that your life is expanding in a positive direction, he will have little choice but to accept the facts. You (and your tribe) are happy & healthy. Many others are not.
But the pressure is on YOU to make sure that's the case


Quote:
Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
I'm terribly passive and have no idea what I'm going to do. I don't want anything to do with him right now, I don't want to talk to him or see him.
Awww - now is this exhibiting "love" ? Is this the example you want to offer to illustrate all your newfound "wisdom" ? Think about it

Quote:
Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
Can you love someone but not accept them? How can I have a relationship with my Dad knowing that he doesn't accept me or people I love?
Yes - you absolutely CAN love someone - but not the choices they make. In fact, maybe that's the biggest component of love. It's something we choose to give without expectations or conditions - right ?

How ?
By embracing the FACT that you are an adult. You don't need anyone's "acceptance" to live the life that you believe in and makes you happy & healthy.
Relate with your Dad the way you WANT your relationship to be with him. As if it's already that way ! It's pretty natural to pull away when things get rocky but that method doesn't work. Won't work in your poly relationships either ! A relationship is a relationship in may ways and the same things that make them strong are universal.

GS
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