I really do not have a problem with triads. I also could care less about those single women who seek couples, or those couples who seek single women.
My only grievance is with those that want this perfect woman to fit into a box. It is like they miss the part where the woman has a personality, thoughts, a voice, style of communicating, wants, and needs of her own. She has a high standard to meet even before the first day. These couples usually have been together for years, well-established, and they just want someone to tagalong to the well oiled machine. She is just automatically supposed to be gung-ho about three-way sex and all this togetherness. She is usually not allowed to be alone with the husband. The wife may or may not be bisexual. Sometimes she is just exploring that side. She might have to be okay with babysitting, disrespectful little brats, and never being allowed to have children of her own--specifically if it is poly-fi, and the male has either had a vasectomy, or the wife is not okay with said woman having children by her husband or any other man for that matter. (Last time I checked, women control their vaginas and right to reproduce.) Sometimes the woman even has to be in the closet because the other two loves of the triad are unwilling or unable to come out. Second class citizen is too good for these women. Some are treated like less.
It sounds awful, so I cannot imagine how it feels for the newly added person in these situations. I forgot the best one of all...they tell this woman that she must date both, and if the relationship ends with either of them, the whole thing is kaput. Nevermind that she will be left heartbroken and homeless if they invited her to live with them.
Admittedly, I have posed questions to those singles and couples alike. It is out of curiosity and wondering why. (It is no different than if I were to ask a mono woman why she prefers tall men with muscles and sandy brown hair or a man who makes six or seven figures a year.) Never to demean them because the truth is this one right here could not give a fuck what they do with their lives. I am not losing any sleep, and my quality of life is not being reduced, so it just does not matter. I am curious because I have no preferences, as I do not experience primary/sexual attraction, so it is interesting to find out why people seek what they do.
I would be an epic fail if I was single and seeking a couple. I hate three-way sex. I had one threesome last year and never again. I barely liked having sex with two people, and I was a-okay when my second relationship transitioned to non-sexual. So the odds of me falling for both people in that couple and loving them both? Hell would freeze over first. I would have to experience that special connection, and it has only happened five times in the years I have been dating. Very rare. The last time was when I met my ex-girlfriend...in 2000. Since then, nothing. I have only been sexually attracted to one man in my life, and he is the only man I have ever been intimate with: my husband. I am not a candidate for a triad from either side. I respect those that are.
Lizzy formerly known as Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 12 years and father of our (3) children.
Last edited by FullofLove1052; 11-07-2013 at 04:30 PM.