Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 11-07-2013, 01:09 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 915

Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Sounds like electronic contact devices are your friends. That way you could maintain a strictly-platonic, not-in-person relationship.
I have to keep her at a safe distance, so electronic communication is the only way to go.

Suppose I might be worried a tad by the question, Why the push by her to be friends? You mentioned that "slight familiarity" is probably all you'd get out of the deal. What would she get, or -- what would she be hoping to get?
Who she became is not the person I once loved and cared about, so it is some element of familiarity in that I once knew her and remember her being something and someone different. I would love to know what she stands to gain. I have some ideas.

I guess if you take up on her offer, do it electronically and "sleep with one eye open." Hopefully I'm being paranoid for nothing, but I've encountered enough fibbing (all sizes) in my day to be ever suspicious. Right now you need more info about what's currently making her tick.
I am paranoid and suspicious, too. I swear she has a personality disorder. Saying all the right words, but the emotion behind them is empty. I think she lacks the ability to truly be empathetic or feel even an ounce of remorse. I believe she can feign empathy in social settings. Just enough to appear like a caring person, so it does not present any red flags. Her "apologies" are proof of that. I am more inclined to believe she blames him for marrying me and being in her way than feeling an ounce of regret about being a cowgirl or using my children.

I am not convinced that she believes what she did was wrong. Even if she is not over me, I cannot say she loves me. She is like a narcissist, and she needs me to supply that need. That is probably what she is after now. The past five years were here happiest years in our relationship to her because she was on that high. She got off on me putting her wants and needs before Matt's and believing that our marriage was inferior to the relationship I had with her. She got off on feeling like she was number one in my life. She was happy when he left me. In her mind, that meant all of the love and attention that was going to him was going to be showered on her. She had succeeded in getting rid of him. To hell with whoever got hurt, but she was happy. The catch is she got pissed when Matt came back, and she realised that things were going to change.

I definitely want to know why this interest in being "friends" with me has resurfaced. The last time I saw her, it was not rainbows and fairy floss. I wanted to slap the shit out of her. If she was truly sorry, surely she would know that it would take longer than two months for me to welcome her back with arms wide open. More like forever and the next lifetime, too.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children.

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