I'm not quite sure I fully understand the post by Dirtclustit either, but the gist that I get is that I'm being encouraged to follow my heart regarding how to handle my relationship(s) and not be influenced by what others tell me is the "right thing to do", which may or may not apply to my specific situation. While I do have an idea of what's "right" in my heart, I'm still really new to the poly thing and having others relay their experiences and issues they've encountered along the way is helpful. While I may not follow the same path, it will better prepare me for what I might expect to encounter as this newly discovered aspect of my personality unfolds.
And I'm happy to report that things are still good between me and "A"...we're talking a lot more than we ever have. He's still trying to come to grips with this "bombshell" of sorts, but we've agreed that we both have no intention of ending the marriage as we still love each other as much as we ever have, if not more. The test will be these upcoming trips...