"In fact people who are experienced in threesome sex in a swinger capacity may feel that it is always like that (i.e. super hot) but there is no way for them to understand how different it is once feelings are engaged."
Well I'm actually wondering if their intended paradigm here isn't a dynamic that starts out as swinging (no emotional involvement), then gradually morphs into polyamory (with emotional involvement). If so, then what I've heard elsewhere (on various threads/forums) is that swingers often do threesomes and like or even prefer them. I'm just saying I can see why Misticbleu might be perceiving threesome sex as the way to go in the beginning.
But I admit it makes me feel a hair uncomfortable to know that the threesome-at-first plan is like a *rule,*
not just a *suggestion.*
Who's to say when or how soon someone will feel ready (and desirous) for dyad sex? What if emotional involvement unexpectly kicks in right away, and the swinger type dynamic is thus already compromised? I guess what I'm saying is that I hope this "rule" is at least open for negotiation.
I personally fancy that a threesome would be really complicated, but then I'm not (never have been) a swinger, and I've never tried a threesome, so I'm not exactly someone you could rely on for an "expert" opinion.
Are threesomes safe from any feelings of exclusion? Surely not. How different would the approach be of first having dyad sex with one partner, then right away (i.e. as soon as possible) with the other partner? Just throwing that idea out there (if prevented excluded feelings is the main concern).