Little over a week before I fly out to see Susan. I am so looking forward to this. We've had a couple of downs in the last couple weeks one directly due to her not wanting Daley to find out about us, the other her not trusting me to understand. Both times it felt like I was being abandoned. I logically understood, but it hurt at the time. My emotional memory is very short though, and it never takes me long to get over. You can see that in some of my posts here.
The root of the problem, in both our cases, is we feel unworthy of the other. Susan is a highly intelligent, successful, beautiful, passionate, sexy, and very independent woman. I admire women like that, I don't get to date women like that. I am a loving, forgiving, trusting, intimate, non-judgemental man. She doesn't get to date men like that. We both fear that the fairy tale will end because the other will find someone more appropriate.
I've gotten better at accepting, but there's still times when I don't get it. There's obviously something that she needs that Daley is providing that I can't do. She wouldn't put up with all the other nonsense if that wasn't the case. She's actually not even sure as we've talked about it.
Regardless, I can tell how excited she is about my visit. Normally planning of any kind really makes her nervous. However, this time, she's been really into it without a hint of trepidation. About a year ago, I said our perfect relationship would be what we have and seeing each other in person a couple times a year. I wouldn't mind it a few more times a year, but we're in a really good place for us.
Sassenach and I have gotten more intimate, though she was offline for a week with little contact. I told her I nicknamed her that and she swooned.
Kay is great. She's really working hard with school and is doing fantastic. That leaves little time for me, but I haven't felt neglected. I'm making sure she's ok with my trip to see Susan, but I think I'm aggravating her more by asking about it. I do need her to help me practice with ropes though