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Old 11-06-2013, 11:01 AM
london london is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635

I'd expect at that time for self restraint to be shown between the him and the other person.
Why? Because you own him? You have consented to allowing him to love other people, now let him have the space to do that. Let him go with his feelings, not with your feelings, surely he deserves that opportunity?

Compared to this time, it shouldn't be someone I've said I'm not ok with him dating and he shouldn't say to her that he's going to ask me if he can take it further, until he's actually asked me.
Why does he need to ask your permission? Why do you get to veto people? Is that something you agreed to? That you can veto people that he wants to date?

I think it would be naive to say that jealousy isn't a factor, I am afraid that i'll get jealous if we end up out at the same thing. However, I think a bigger thing for me is that I need a sense of order in my head of how things are and I just kind of categorise things like that to make myself feel at ease. So, when I'm with someone at a certain place, that's our space and time. When a partner and their partner are at a certain place that's their space and time.
So basically all poly/kink places in London are yours and his, so anybody he dates better not want to go to anything like that? It's like you want him to date someone monogamous and vanilla who will want him to be mono with her. I'd much prefer my partners to date poly, kinky folk who know the lifestyle. I really think you need to have a long, hard think about how you have behaves towards him and consider if that's the type of person you want to be. Just out of interest, if you do decide to go mono, who will you dump?
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