Originally Posted by Triskelle
Well yes, my husband identifies as mono, but I think he could explore girlfriends eventually. He and I are not sexually compatible. We aren't waiting for anything specific really. He has a lot to think about. We have found our life to be much different than we had envisioned.
If he is mono, and you encourage him finding a GF, that's one thing, but what if he falls in love with that GF and decides he wants her to move in as poly?,...I know this is not your situation, but my past is similar,...I was not sexually compatible with my ex, never had sex after the first couple tries, never really 'Connected' in that way, although I am a very lovingly-sexual, cuddly kinda guy. We were actually autonomous room-mates and we actually only married for insurance purposes (bad idea BTW). She encouraged me to find a love one. In the end, when I did find the love of my life, she was excitingly happy for me, but it soon turned ugly. Not because she loved me, not out of jealousy, but simply because she thought she never had to work, or find another place to live again, the rest of her life. She became rotten, vindictive, and even went as far as telling all our neighbours that I had a purchased a Internet slut buy-a-bride. All my neighbours still hate me. I can only be thankful that she was honest to the judge that divorced us about our actual autonomous arrangement, otherwise she probably would have taken me for everything.
My question to you is,...Since it sounds like you aren't 100% compatible with your husband, but you do have children and an OK life together. What would you do, and/or would you hold him back from who he might become to someone else if he does find someone more compatible? Would you be willing to cohabitate with her in this same way?...Watching her move in,...Him love her in front of you?,...The sound of Passionate sex, as you walk by that closed door?
Your first post states that you are asking exactly this of him,...but what if it went the other way in the future as well?