It was an extremely vicious mind fucking
most of it done extremely subtle, which unfortunately was my introduction to polyamory, and I didn't mention all of it.
It went on for years and as a result a close friend of mine went certifiably insane, it is the reason I am bitter towards and will have nothing to do with local non-monogamous groups or communities. When people believe they can't get caught or act from a place where they believe their anonymity is guaranteed, it brings out the absolute worst forms of abuse. People who are capable of that level of malice for any reason are not people, and it is impossible for me to respect such individuals
ETA I am sorry for what you had gone through, if it helps, sometimes when you've become accustomed to the practice of honesty, the past|present|future as an experience is one you can see around the corners of, although it's not so much an ability to see around the corners as much as it is to see one aligned straight site, as all of the spinning in circles that is the seemingly natural way time feels ordered, disappears. So during those moments that your honesty becomes such that you know you can trust your word, those memories which the truthfulness are in question, are really no big deal because within a flash of an instant you can see them all and verify your memory -- not as you remembered it, but as it happened.
People who mislead you, or worse, get you to accept lies as the truth for no good reason -- like being too afraid to be responsible for their actions, while not being willing to change their behavior -- you needn't worry about. It is perfectly acceptable to ignore everything a person says or has written once you conclude they do not respect the truth. For they do not know themselves, and in fact their view of the past, present, and future -- even when viewed separately -- is so distorted I promise you they have no idea what they see. A shot in the dark has a better chance of being what is real since reality will never be what they believed it was, is, or is capable of being.
White light is clear, white is not opaque, and so a white that you cannot see through, is really a veil that hides what should be invisible in the first place. WASPs are human, CASPs are not, and if either give you trouble I would ignore them. Surrounding yourself with troublemakers brings trouble into your life, they'll get you to believe that having your cake and eating it too is something you must lie about. Which is itself very much like that original subtlety that brought misery into Our Lives, eating real cake is definitely allowed, but lying about it (which is to not accept responsibility for your actions) is the equivalent of hitting the jackpot on the slots and when the alarm goes off you immediately move one machine over pretending you are def and blind. The casino doesn't care, an employee will arrive within seconds to reset the jackpot alarm but they will not pay you. They will look at you funny since it's obvious what happened, and wonder why you what hide from being paid out the jackpot. I learned the hard way. After being kicked out of the casino for being underage , I learned to move over one machine since they didn't pay you if they didn't have to, but that was a long time ago. I've been back for quite some time now and not only do I have ID, but I don't really need it, as I know myself and those whom also practice honesty know who I am, and I am not interested in gambling with things that are important, we cannot afford to have to police family members. Truth as well as honesty must be voluntary, as they are sure things.
these are fairly important times when a lot of things are getting sorted out. Believe it or not, the clumsiest klutziest person who never does anything right, is a better member than one who does everything right but cannot voluntarily be honest. I think where most people get confused is the fact that everyone can lie, so sometimes the klutz is viewed as less than the *almost* perfect person, but the way families function it is necessary that members do the next right thing voluntarily, which is understanding why it is important to let the affected people know so that mistakes can be corrected
This world doesn't depend or anything being perfect, we depend on the ability for mistakes to be corrected.
That is the only TRUE perfection, which is sort of like manifesting Life from a living miracle, eternally
Last edited by Dirtclustit; 11-05-2013 at 09:08 PM.
Reason: a d d e n d u m