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Old 11-05-2013, 04:18 PM
LondonGuy LondonGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Humberside, no longer in London but I still visit regularly
Posts: 90
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Well she's not crazy - in true Sheldon style her mother had her tested

I probably should have fleshed it out a bit more to give a more balanced opening thread... we had discussed J before and she had said that it was a boundary. The reason for this is that I had met them both around the same time, a little too closely for comfort for S. We hadn't communicated it well and were I guess misscommunicating on the definition of a boundary for starters.

I see boundaries falling into 2 categories... those that are fixed, will never change and are hard limits... and those which could be open to negotiation, maybe they might require certain reassurances to overcome insecurities etc.

Given that this was the case and we were also misscommunicating on whether we were even ready to involve others yet (we're still new as we've only been together 3 months).... well, with all that it's easy to see why things weren't clear.

When we discussed J about 1 month ago it was identified as a boundary, but we discussed polyamory more generally a lot more since then and I wasn't sure if this boundary was negotiable. I tried opening up that discussion but was told I clearly hadn't listened the last time.

I just feel empty right now. I love S to bits. She says she's happy with me being poly but I'm struggling to see who with and how, I don't want to date just anyone just for the sake of being poly... but to me it means that when I find someone I like I am free to explore it unless there is a very good reason not to. I wanted to open that dialogue and find out with regards to J how flexible the given reasons were, but in doing so I'm scared I've hurt her.

I really do love her so much, even with her alleged craziness :P
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