Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit
A good point here Thunky,
I don't know as I'd stretch it so far as to call it "unethical" but definitely "inconsiderate".
It's not atypical behavior but deserves to be called out - in the RIGHT way. Gently but pointedly.
It's easy for everyone when operating in their default "mode", to forget that not everyone is used to operating in whatever the circumstances are. It's like a cultural thing. Not everyone understands or is used to the culture so we need to be aware of that and make special allowances.
For example, because of living in a poly "mode" (culture) for so long, it's perfectly natural for me to throw my arms around a person - even total stranger - give them a hug and a kiss - maybe even a little pat on the butt.
But I've learned the hard way that I have to be aware of the setting and the particular individuals. Not everyone is used to that and can take it as being unacceptably forward.
So this is a lesson it sounds like your GF needs to learn too. A gentle reminder should be sufficient to connect her back to a broader reality
If not, it's something you'll need to know about.
Yeah, it's the problem of 'going native'. Consent is still a big one. At least, in this case it was low-risk behavior. Some people are just as "inconsiderate" when it cums to high-risk behaviors. Prolly an opportunity to nip things in the bud before there's a chance for escalation. You two need to have a talk about this. Express yourself, listen to her response, repeat-rinse-etc.