Originally Posted by YouAreHere
His initial emotional reaction basically was a modified "why isn't anything I do for you enough". And yes, he does go through hell trying to maintain both relationships. I understand that.
I have to agree with FOL. He chose this. And this, to me, is exactly why poly is not
a good idea. At least, or especially, if you want a relationship with someone who is otherwise single.
I get this, too, from BF: I give and give and give, and nothing I do is good enough for you.
Well, yes, he's made great sacrifices and changes to his lifestyle, that's true. And yet he still expects that a half-time relationship should leave me completely HAPPY at all times. Sorry, but I'm still left to fend for myself, as you are, when the hard stuff hits.
I have some of the same home issues you do (generally speaking) and you know what, I'm not going to apologize for saying it feels like a slap in the face when I'm about collapsing under the weight of home repairs, children, two jobs, and trying to downsize the house so I can focus on my business, wondering how I'm going to manage everything and he simply isn't there and isn't going to be. (Bonus points when he tells me how he worries how his wife will manage if anything happens to him. Uh, I guess she'll have to do what he takes for granted I do: get out of bed in the morning and work.
The fact is, no matter how much he's given up for this, he's still
only giving me half a relationship, half the time, and absolutely none of the things one would eventually expect from a relationship. I think it's emotional blackmail to complain that giving me (or you or anyone) only half time is supposed to be good enough.