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Old 11-04-2013, 05:15 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
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Oh of course, I still "want in on the conversation" in general (thanks for that re-invite), I just didn't mean to block someone else's effort to post to you directly.

"Am I not enough for you?"
Only insofar as A can't literally be everyone in the world; he can't be M and T. Every person is unique and brings something to the table that no one else could bring. So from a poly standpoint, "Nobody is ultimately enough, but everyone you love is perfect for you." A is perfect for you. T is perfect for you. M is perfect for you. Nobody in the equation *needs* to be "enough" per se (since what does "enough" really mean anyway except to suggest if you really loved someone you wouldn't need to be polyamorous?); they just need to be "right for you" (and you need to be right for them of course).

Is it "not enough" to be perfect for someone? Well, then it should be *enough for A* that he is perfect for you. He shouldn't need to be *everything* for you in order to consider himself adequate. You don't do polyamory because you want him to change. You do it because you want to share the love with M and T also.

Well, if A is deeply conditioned to live only with monogamy, it will take great patience, and many different approaches, to help him put aside that conditioning. Conditioning is really, really hard to reason with.

Good luck and keep us posted.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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