Don't get me wrong
there is nothing worse for any relationship then a man who refuses to respect a person he does not lust after. Because I truly believe that when there is no love or lust (and many people confuse the two as it is anyway) that all relationships are destined to fail when there is no respect.
And if they don't fail, sometimes it's worse as the entire life is lived in misery all while making someone else miserable
and yes, males have a lot more trouble with respect than females do because in their testosterone poisoned view respect means submission, and so they never give respect without their -- often unspoken and extremely subtle -- self-appointed governor status. In other words men only respect when they are in the position of power and don't really have to respect anyone, that it is a matter of choice as opposed to mandatory if the relationship is going to work.
I'll speak out against it, but I don't think it sexism when a male won't respect something he doesn't lust after -- it's simple stupidity -- it's the mistake that men make confusing all three emotions (love, lust, and respect) where as most women may confuse lust and love it doesn't make for the much more confusing situation of confusing both of those with respect.
So personally I see it as an idiot male's inability to respect other males, and not that they see females as less of a threat
There are many dynamics I would be miserable attempting that style of relationships, but the crap he posts might as well be explaining why physical abuse is bad (which nobody has a problem understanding) but then jackass takes it too far by what would amount to condemning masochists for entering a relationship that works for them and then attacking sadists whom are pretty much the only people certain masochists would be happy with
In full disclosure, one author in particular I have a very low opinion of -- essential view him and his opinions on poly as being that of a over privileged punk. Employing subtleties to show your love of admiration for another is honorable and appropriate, employing subtleties to show you disgust for another is mind-fucking, it's cowardly, and it's why some people say if you can't say anything nice about someone, do not say anything at all, however my view is if you've got a problem don't tip toe and make it worse. Tip-toeing is only when you must first walk through china closets, china cabinets, or china shops. Once you are clear of the delicate delegates, I don't have a problem with grabbing that fucker by the horns and throwing him where he belongs, with every other man who refuses to respect boundaries when they think they won't be held accountable for it if they do not.
ETA: Personally, it makes more sense from a purely sexual side of relationships for a MFM configuration, but people only seem to take the poly community enforced stance against FMF. My problem is not that I don't agree with certain dynamics that don't work for me, it is a severe disgust with enforcing any relationship dynamic amongst a community, as that is no longer a community, it is a state or country, and frankly one I would never be a part of although I would volunteer to lead a revolution against should they continue to not respect boundaries.
For example, I view most of the past replies on this forum, to those who claim they are seeking a triad, to be the type of response that is a perfect example of a community enforced ban on triads, which is fine until they through in the plausible denial of "except those that happen organically"
As if a grammarian can wrap their tiny, yet thick skull around an accurate definition of "organic" or even more of a stretch "evolution" or any from of the word "evolve". All that does in my view is take a person whom I didn't agree with, but was able to respect and due to the lying and not respecting the truth -- no matter how you define specific words -- leaves me not only disagreeing with grammarians, but disagreeing with and not respecting grammarian "polyamorists" although it has nothing to do with grammarians nor poly that I cannot respect. It is more the bigotry that seems to go hand in hand with the two groups becoming one. Erudites don't piss me off, so much as anyone who has trouble defining bigotry as unrecognized bigotry is essentially unrecognized hatred, and while unrecognized hatred may not necessarily mean a person is evil at heart, but it is responsible for the worst crimes against the world and against the humanity that colonized this world.
which I readily admit being alien to
Last edited by Dirtclustit; 11-03-2013 at 08:52 PM.
Reason: added thought