I think.that personality also plays a huge part. N seems to be able to make friends wherever he goes. I'm more selective than he is. Hes been extremely active these past 5 years and has many lovers where I've only had a few (mostly women) he and J have been together for over a year where I haven't had any long term relationships.
He hasn't seemed to have any issues finding women to.date (they usually stick around until they find a boyfriend) where moat guys that I have found myself liking aren't poly and def not interested in dating a married woman. The guys that are cool.with poly always have something wrong with them.
Sue, openly in a vee with Nate (polysexual, many fwb) and Sam (Mono)