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Old 11-03-2013, 08:28 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by london View Post
As I said in another thread recently, I do expect my partner to be forthcoming as well as honest. Honest is quite a subjective word and leaves room for miscommunication/loopholes.
Isn't forthcoming subjective as well? At what point does your expectation of disclosure override another's expectation of privacy?

I've made a point of discussing with each of my partners precisely what they mean by honesty. We've discussed what types of things we feel a need to know, and what types of things are acceptable to remain private. Because I know my partners well, I feel confident that I know what they need to know and what I can keep to myself. I believe that they know this of me, as well.

I think it's important to have that conversation with every partner, no matter how serious the relationship. Everyone has their own sense of "honesty." I don't believe in full disclosure, I think people are entitled to some privacy, no matter how close and intimate we are. At the same time, intimacy requires trust and confidence that you will be told things that are relevant to your own life. Each couple has their own balance between the two, and what matters most is that they agree on the boundaries.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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