From whom are you getting all this crap? On this forum at least, the majority of people practice more of what you describe as spoke/hub poly. So I'm inferring that this judgement is coming from people in your local poly so-called community?
It's a common human trait to view different customs as strange or wrong. It reinforces our belief that what we're doing is acceptable. If what I'm doing is right, and what you're doing is different, then the only way I can convince myself that what I am doing really is right is to believe that what you're doing is wrong. It's tribal thinking, and soft-wired into our brains through millenia of tribal social evolution.
Notice how even while coming to your defence, London did exactly the same thing to those people as they do to you. Rather than accept that they prefer a different model but that's ok, she demonized them and accused them of having character flaws and being insecure.
You don't convince people to be tolerant your beliefs by displaying intolerance towards their own beliefs.
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).
The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."