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Old 11-03-2013, 06:13 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 431
Default the post is more about the new "polynormative" and how any trend is BS

It's less about what style or dynamic = correct practice of polyamory and more about not becoming a victim of the newest enforced opinion of a society.

One the biggest problems polyamorists face, is the pressure to conform their intimate relationships to the dynamic that society says is "correct" and those who don't face affliction so they feel the need to hide parts of their life.

Essentially the author is speaking out against these "popular" poly-authors who have decided that poly communities -- whether online or in real life -- need to have set templates which people need to conform to, or else suffer the consequences. In the authors defense, it may be less about controlling or governing poly communities and more about cashing in on the increasingly public as opposed to underground, alternative way of life.

Personally, I don't give a rat's ass what the reason is, I staunchly oppose any attempt to create another society blind to their own acts of injustice. If there is anything in the way people choose to live their lives that doesn't affect anyone else but themselves, it's the dynamic of their intimate relationships. Nobody has the right to make another feel less than for having the courage to structure their intimate relationships how they choose.

The funniest (and saddest) part about some of those authors is that they more than anyone else should fully understand what a crock of horse shit it is take up any "right or wrong" banner and parade it around. Anyone who has even stuck one toe into BDSM waters knows damn well the only line that separates right from wrong or abuse from acceptable behavior is explicit consent from knowledgeable adults.

The reason I have such a hard time with the "popular" authors in question, is not the horse shit opinions, but rather what comes down to the plain old unspoken bullshit and drama that goes hand in hand with the digital world. The subtle and extremely childish ways to engage in pissing contests of any kind or clicky ways one can fuck with another's head or make another person feel less than for not conforming to the popular trend, or heaven forbid, embarrassing some idiot who makes his living by always appearing right, by making others appear wrong, which the digital era of online personna and anonymity plays a large role.

Attitudes like those are the reason why people often feel the need to denounce affiliation with anything identifying as "polyamorous"

It sounded more like the author of the posts was just reminding those who have come to feel marginalized, to not worry about what some idiot on the web posts, no matter how popular it appears online. The web does not always correlate well with real life and what what happens in real life, is not always how it appears online

Marketing and commercialization these days is completely different, there are no longer 15-20 second advertisements depicting fake, plastic people in an artificial environment created to highlight some illusion as if it were reality. Now days, it is longer than a quarter minute of fallacy, it is entire online lives. Those authors can ho humm that which is a polite way of informing them where they can stick rules for qualifying as acceptable polyamory. Polyamory is about openess, honesty and consent between all involved, and that means whatever those involved decide and agree on
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