Originally Posted by Magdlyn
How long has her h been working 3 hours away? That sounds terrible. Did she decided to dally with you BECAUSE he was gone all week and she was bored, or horny? Now, she's saving her horniness up for the weekends and the baby-making, and letting you lie in the next room LISTENING? Not right, not right at all.
The long distance situation between her and her hubby started in July when she got a job here (in my city). The goal was for both of them to get a job here so we could all be close and/or live together.
To be fair, I should say we haven't stopped having sex entirely. But it's definitely much less. We go 2-3 weeks without it now, whereas we used to have it 1-2 times a week. And honestly, I could live with that if I didn't feel the intimacy fading away as well. We used to cuddle, hold hands, etc... and that was really enough for me. But I've noticed several things changing. For instance, when we were apart, we would email love notes all the time. I know I shouldn't expect that anymore, since we're together more than we're apart. But even with text messages... we used to send some really sweet ones back and forth. But these days, I'll pour my heart into telling her something, and she'll answer back with a one-liner. That's it. That's all I get. Sometimes when her husband is here in town, and they have plans to do something, she'll leave without the type of goodbye I prefer: one with a kiss, or hug, or something. Once they left and she didn't even say anything. I understand that sometimes people are in a bad mood, or have a lot on their mind. But it would be nice to feel loved, needed, or even just appreciated. I can only think of one occasion in the past two months when she's grabbed me, hugged me, and kissed me passionately while he was here. It felt nice. I think that's the point I realized that it wasn't really that I was jealous of him... I just wanted to still feel important when he was around.
Also, another thing that kinda bothers me is that I spend a lot of money on her (and they have way more than I do), yet that expression of love is never returned. I love spending money on her, or I wouldn't do it. Generally, it's simple things like buying her dinner when it's her and me (I let him pick up the tab when he's here, obviously). The other night, we went to dinner and a movie. I picked up the dinner tab. When we got to the movies, she was in line ahead of me and went to the window. I thought she was buying two tickets... she only bought one for herself. I know things like this shouldn't bother me, but it's all of these little things that add up to my assumption that I'm not as important to her as she is to me.
Originally Posted by FullofLove1052
The sad part is your girlfriend knows that she is the only person you are with and want to be with, but she is unwilling to meet your needs or be honest enough to tell you the relationship has run the course. There is no right in that. I would end it on the basis of your needs not being met. Forget all the other stuff. She has proven that meeting them is not a priority. Without knowing the full story, I have to say you deserve better. She is paying you in dust and crumbs.
I'm afraid you're right. I'm the first to admit that I've had some insecurities throughout the duration of this relationship. But I'm now realizing that at least some
of my fears may not be unfounded. I'm not sure how to address the issue. I want her to know that I feel our love is unbalanced, but I don't want them walking away feeling like I'm placing blame on them. But the truth is, I can't be in a relationship with someone who never talks about their feelings with me. I understand people have different methods of dealing with things. And I understand she may need to take a lot of time to herself before she ever comes to me with things. But I'd like to know about things eventually, you know? I'd like to be a safe haven for her... and for awhile, I believe I was. But it doesn't feel like she needs me anymore.